Won't You Be My Neighbor?

So, as someone of you may have heard, someone at my lovely and well-behaved alma mater recently stole Mr. Rogers' shoe during an event (law prom) at the New Orleans Children's Museum. And, although I know that the school has basically been banned everywhere that they've had Barrister's Ball in the three years that I was a student, there's something about this one that actually made me ashamed to say that "hey, I went to school there." Because, dude, it's Mr. Rogers. What the fuck is wrong with you? Anyway, I brought it up to M yesterday, hoping that he'd sympathize (because, well, it's Mr. Rogers)...

Me: You know, for the first time ever, I'm actually ashamed to say where I went to law school.

M: Why?

Me: Okay, so they held law school prom at the Children's Museum this year, and while they were there, someone actually stole Mr. Rogers' shoe!

M: Hysterical laughter. It had to be done!

Me: Horrified. What?! Why?!

M: They should send ransom pictures of it. Like have pictures of the shoe and...

Me: No they shouldn't, that's horrible! Dude, this is serious. I mean, they could get kicked out of school, and hello? it's Mr. Rogers' shoe. Mr. Rogers. They should give it back.

M: Wait, Mr. Rogers? I thought you said Ronald McDonald. You mean the shoes that he used to take on and off?

Me: Yes! Mr. Rogers!!!

M: Oh, well that's just wrong. They should return it.

Now, I know it may seem, given everything else that I've chosen not to comment on during my tenure at law school, that I'm overreacting and acting like a goody goody. Well, maybe I am, but Mr. Rogers is fucking awesome. He used to go to the same church that my family did here in Pittsburgh, and my mom has told me time and again what a wonderful person he was, and quite honestly, he held me one day when I was a baby and told my mom that I was cute, which is sort of awesome, and makes me a little star struck in the way that most people are when they see, say, Brad Pitt or someone. So, don't fuck with Mr. Rogers dude. Be a good neighbor.