Running Away from the Bar

Well, the bar is over. I should probably feel more overjoyed, and to my credit I did let out an ecstatic whoop in the car yesterday after leaving the Convention Center, but I don't think it went well. I think that's why I don't feel relaxed - because I don't feel done. If I'd felt better about the whole thing, I wouldn't be thinking "but what if I have to take it again?" The thought of returning in October is marring what is a legitimate accomplishment, win or lose. So instead of celebrating yesterday, I spent most of the day with my phone turned off, avoiding happy people so that I wouldn't bring them down with my bad attitude.

But, enough with the bad news. After running pretty regularly since last October-ish, I finally did a 5K this morning! I didn't even really mean to. I just started off on my regular running route and decided to go a little further, and ended up on a 3.5 mile course around the local park. I kept telling myself "just go a little further and you'll be home soon," or "you can stop at this tree." But I didn't - I'd get to the tree and realize I could keep going a little more, and eventually, I made it the whole way back to start without collapsing once (although I did walk halfway up one of Pittsburgh's crazy-steep hills). So, while I may not be proud of my performance on the Bar, I'm definitely proud of this, and it makes me think that maybe I'll be ready to run a half-marathon for real this year, especially since Pittsburgh is bringing the marathon back after a 6 year hiatus (or maybe 5, who knows?). I like to think that at least I channeled my bar rage into something good, because I'm pretty sure that's what kept me going past miles 2 and 3. It's a teeny silver lining, but at least it's there.