Listing

So there's not a whole lot going on in my life lately, which you probably gathered from my last few posts. Some people might think that you should stop posting if you don't have enough for a whole entry, but not me. That's what lists were created for, so in no particular order, and in concentrated form, some snippets from the life of Liza:

1. I've stopped doing Bikram for a while. Not because I dislike it or because I felt like I wasn't deriving a benefit from it, but because for some reason it makes my knees, specifically the right knee, rather cranky. My dad just had a knee replacement, so I've been paying attention to them more than usual. I think the problem is that I have a tendency to hyperextend, but since I already run - not exactly easy on the joints - I figured I should give them a chance to chill and am experimenting with other forms. So far regular Hatha yoga bores me to death, and Ashtanga looks promising, but will require quite a bit of work on my "flow," not being naturally graceful.

2. I am officially a victim of identity theft. After halfheartedly joking about it for years because I had my wallet - containing license, social security card and, idiotically, my birth certificate - stolen my first freshman year of college (I made it through a semester and left. USC is not my kind of place. Also, I appear to be fond of repeating the first bits of schooling. For another example, see Hurricane Katrina). So, anyway, some douchebag has been applying for a bunch of credit cards in my name, and now there's all these inquiries on my credit report, and also past addresses at which I've never lived, one of which is a shopping center. Lovely. Much mail scrutinizing, credit reporting, and police calling has commenced.

3. There are few things as relaxing as wandering about my backyard in bare feet. Having grown up barefoot, and having been a city apartment dweller for several years now, it's one of the facets of suburbia that I hadn't realized I missed.

4. Also, suburbia at 3 a.m. is an exceptionally dark and quiet place. I know this because, having consumed too much champagne on Saturday night, the lovely E. Lee and I decided that we needed to go find a swingset and set off looking for a playground in the dead of night. After visiting one playground that was inexplicably lacking in swings, we got sick of walking and only managed to find some pot-smoking teenagers. At least we think they were teenagers. We never actually saw them, only smelled their drugs.

5. I have a vegetable garden. M and I spent a few hours shopping for and planting squash, tomatoes, peppers, onions, and assorted herbs a few weeks ago, and I delight in checking on them and seeing their progress. One of the pepper plants already has little blossoms on it, and I've learned that of all the herbs I planted, chipmunks like basil the best.

So, that's my life right now. Yoga, gardening, big backyards. It's all very suburban and calm, but with some champagne and identity theft thrown in to make sure I don't get bored.

Oh, and This Happened Too

Yesterday, I reached a milestone in my life. A rite of passage, if you will. I grilled stuff for the very first time! The grill has heretofore intimidated the hell out of me for some reason, and despite cooking pretty much every night, I've never actually attempted to use one. However, the prospect of having a patio, backyard, and grill, and of having people over eventually to take advantage of said amenities forced me to overcome my fear. And it went well! There was a minute there when the flames were rather too close to the holly bush for my comfort, but in the end I didn't have to call the fire department, the food turned out well, and there was something about the whole experience that made me feel sort of badass, and that's always a good thing.

Haunted

I think I have the running version of a poltergeist. He lives in my legs. I first started running seriously and I got shin splints. Then I kicked my cabinet in a fit of rage (I dropped my dinner on the floor at the end of a long day) and sprained my foot. Then I got new shoes to get rid of the shin splints, which worked for a while, but stupid Saucony went and discontinued my shoe and the new ones weren't as perfect and I got plantar fasciitis. It went away eventually and, for a while now, things have been quiet. I was starting to think that the poltergeist had finally left me alone, but as often happens, I was wrong. After a ridiculously hard yoga class on Thursday (seriously, this woman would have made the toughest dominatrix hang her head in shame), I took a few days off, then went for a nice long run on Sunday. Sunday night - shin splints. Shin splints from hell that will not go away no matter how many cold packs I wrap around my legs. Problem is, I think my shoes are going, because my knees have been bugging me too. Normally I'd go out and buy new ones, but times are tough and I cannot afford to shell out $100 or so for a pair of sneakers. I blame the poltergeist for this too. Clearly, he is preventing me from getting a job so that I cannot buy sneakers. Fucking demon.

All Months Should Be National BLT Month

A bacon retrospective and salute to my favorite salty, fatty meat product. I really kind of want a set of those bacon postcards. Click on photo for link to bacon salute.

This is Not a Post About Yoga

It's a post about how crabby I am today. Fun stuff, right? I'm having one of those days. You know the kind, where you wake up crabby and every normal thing that happens to you makes you even crabbier? It's that kind of day. I woke up late, which unlike regular people, I don't like to do on a day to day basis. I feel like when I roll out of bed at 10 I've wasted half the day. Basically, sleeping in has made me feel bitchy. So when my stomach started to do its old man heartburn thing that it's been so fond of lately, I was even more peeved than I normally would be. Honestly though, I eat well, which seems to me like it should be a get out of jail free card for angry belly. Add to that the fact that I'm breaking out like a teenager for some inexplicable reason, and my joyous mood is complete. I'm like a little black cloud of love.

I won't pretend that there was any real point to this post, but I just had to get that out there. I'm gonna go glare at something now.

Camels and Rabbits and Locusts, oh my!

You're probably sick of hearing me talk about yoga, right? Well, too bad. I'm a convert. Despite the fact that my back is currently bitching at me for working previously undiscovered muscles, I sent my friend E this message last night:

"Yoga killed my back yesterday. Yet, somehow, I already miss it."

Soon I'll be consulting crystals and talking about realigning my chi.

Or not. All I'm saying is, I'm hooked. The second class really was much better, and I made it the whole way through, walking out of the studio with a big, goofy smile on my face and floating to the Metro station despite the disgusting weather. Since then I've gone two more times, and it just keeps getting better. I think I sweat more every time too, which is sorta gross, but also oddly satisfying.

It's not all roses - there are two poses that I totally despise. One of these is Standing Head to Knee Pose, which looks something like this:

Technically, the head is supposed to on the knee, but either way, I don't bend like that. My standing knee unlocks. My fingers slip off my foot because I'm sweating. I lose balance. Most of the time, I end up sitting down, not out of tiredness or because I'm dizzy, but because I'm frustrated and glaring at myself in the mirror. Least favorite pose #2 is called the Camel. Observe:

Again, I don't bend that way. Also, it makes me crazy dizzy. I thought it was just the heat in the room, and that's part of the dizziness certainly, but I tried to do it at home last night and I still couldn't bend far enough to grab my heels.

But I love love love these two:

I am not a graceful person, but these make me feel like I could be. Plus, they're really pretty to look at, especially the first of the two.

Anyway, if you were sick of my yoga babbling before, you definitely are now, so I'll sign off. Namaste!

(I actually had no idea what that meant until a few seconds ago. It means literally "I bow to you," and is an expression of respect and gratitude. Neato)

Bikram Update

So I made it through my first Bikram class! Lemme tell ya, it was HOT. It was like running for an hour and a half, in New Orleans, in the middle of August HOT. I've never sweated so much in my life. In fact, this morning I woke up 4 pounds lighter than yesterday, and that was with my sweatpants and pajama top still on. The only other time that's ever happened to me was a day during my teenage angst years when I ate nothing all day and drank 4 liters of Diet Coke (don't ask). This feels healthier though, obviously.

Moving on...

For the most part, I didn't have as much to fear as I thought. I made it through the standing poses (the first half) without needing to stop for more than a few seconds at a time, although I definitely slipped out of a few poses due to the general slickness of my skin after 5 minutes in the room. The second half went pretty decently as well until about 3/4 of the way through the class (there was no clock, so I may be overestimating my stamina, but that seems about right), when after a sit-up my stomach was suddenly a gaping cavern, wanting only food. Needless to say, I got a little dizzy and had to sit quietly for about 15 minutes while my stomach growled. The problem was, by that point I was so hot it was hard to get comfy, even just sitting calmly. I guess I underestimated how tough it is to sit without any body part touching another (because they're all HOT), and with as little skin as possible touching the mat, because it is also HOT, and kind of drenched. Anyway, I made it back up for the last pose and breathing exercise, and then sort of hunched my way out of the room, much like an 80-year-old woman in need of a hip replacement. It was literally the toughest workout of my life, and I've run 90 minutes in the heat before - didn't even come close. Afterward, I was a puddle of relaxation (well, after I'd eaten anyway). All in all, pretty awesome, and I'll definitely be going back. I thought I would be going back today, but the gaping, empty cavern feeling has continued (I didn't eat enough when I got home last night, because there was no food to be had) and I am now eating like a pregnant woman, or like a cow, whichever you choose. I have eaten 4 times today, and I am still hungry. So today is a refueling day, and tomorrow I'll be back.

They say your second class is much easier...